Dear T,

I love you. So, so much. You are, far and away, one of my favorite people in the entire world.

But it hasn’t always been easy, has it? Thanks for always forgiving me when I mess up. Thanks for extending grace on the days I didn’t do everything right. I hope you continue to be the kind of person who easily says, “I’m sorry,” and, “I forgive you”. Those are some of the most important words, T. Those are the kinds of words that help glue people together. You’re really good at using those words. That’s one of my favorite things about you.

You know what else I love about you? You are so positive and so optimistic. No matter what, you wake up in the very best mood. That has meant so much to me, buddy. Your brightness in the morning has helped me so many times.

And I love that you choose to see the best in people and in situations. That’s such a special thing about you, T. I hope you keep choosing that for the rest of your life.

I hope you keep noticing, too. You are so good at noticing things. You notice little details that other people miss. That matters, T. It’s important. It puts you in a unique position to help people because you will notice when they are hurt or happy, sad or confused. When you notice those things, you can respond with kindness.

And if you notice a problem, I know you will find a way to help. You know those movies you see in your head? The way your brain shows you pictures of things when you’re reading or listening or just starring out the car window? That’s something special. Not everyone can do that. Not everyone has the capacity to see what’s not there or imagine what could be. Your creativity and imagination can help you solve problems, T. When you see a problem, trust yourself to see the solution, too. The answer might not come right away, but know that it will.

T, we’ve talked a lot about honesty. We’ve talked about how important it is to always use true and honest words. But I want you to trust me when I say that the most important person for you to be honest with is you.

Sometimes, it’s really easy to tell ourselves lies. It’s easy to tell ourselves we’re not good enough or we’re not worthy. It makes my heart so sad when I hear you tell yourself those things. Please, please always tell yourself the truth, T. Even when it’s hard, and even if, in that moment, you’re not sure you believe it. Always, always be honest with yourself about who you are.

Because the truth is, T, you are worthy: just as you are. The truth is, you are valuable: just as you are. You are smart and capable. You are genuine and caring. You are kind. You are strong. You can do hard things. You can persevere. Tell yourself that often. On your good days and on your not-so-good days: repeat it to yourself. Whisper it if you have to, but shout it if you can. (And if truly forget the words, call me so I can remind you.)

T, you will always be my friend. No matter where you are in the world, know that I am with you and I am for you. That will never change. For the rest of your life, I will be cheering for you. If you ever need help, please know you can reach out to me. I will always do whatever I can to help you.

I’m going to miss you so much, T. Being your foster mom has been the greatest privilege of my entire life. But I’m so excited for you. I’m so happy to watch you move on to the next chapter. You’re writing a beautiful story with your life, T, and I can’t wait to see how it unfolds.

My hope for you is that you keep choosing love, kindness, courage, friendship, creativity, and peace. And I hope you never stop asking questions. If something doesn’t make sense to you, ask why. Always, always ask why. Don’t just take someone’s word for it when it comes to things that matter. Ask questions, and trust yourself. The world needs your questions. The world needs your unique, T-way of looking at things. Keep shining, sweet boy. The world needs your light.

All my love, always,






3 thoughts on “Whisper it if you have to, but shout it if you can

  1. Amy, T was SO fortunate to have had you as a foster parent. He made so much progress in the two plus years that he was with you. You have set a foundation for him to move forward and continue to grow and make good choices.

    Thank you for putting all the blood, sweat, and tears for a little boy who didn’t have a pray for a bright future until he met you.


  2. You finished well. But oh the ache. Praying for you. For T. What a life-changing impact both of you made on one another. Grace, peace, and love to you.


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